


to be good enough (for myself)

by russiazilla



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Character Study, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Menstruation, Nightmares, Slow Build, Trans Male Character, btw the enemies part is pretty brief its mostly friends, convenient fantasy magic, de-transitioning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22889323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/russiazilla/pseuds/russiazilla
Summary: Prince Leo of Nohr is sent from his country to Hoshido to marry into the royal family there.Prince Takumi of Hoshido won't let that villain make his little sister cry, and resolves to marry the enemy himself.The two find out they're more alike than different.(a sort of character study on my headcanon that takumi is ftm, set in the context of leokumi)
Relationships: Leon | Leo/Takumi, mentioned other past relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	to be good enough (for myself)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this half of this fic like 3+ years ago and I'm hoping that posting it will convince me to write the second half.
> 
> if you have anything you want to say: yes I am trans. no I do not take complaints. thanks.

“Takumi, I need help,” Sakura said when Takumi let her into his room. It was the middle of the night, and the moonlight streamed through the paper doors.

Takumi was pretty sure he knew why Sakura was here. He asked anyway, “What is it? Of course I’ll help.”

Sakura sniffed. She had probably been crying, but it was hard to tell in the dark. “I don’t want to get married,” she whispered. “But Prince Leo is arriving tomorrow, and I just don’t know what to do.”

So it was that. They’d been talking about it within the family for weeks. With unrest growing on the Hoshidan-Nohrian border, the Nohrian royal family had offered to send its third son to be married as a show of unity and goodwill. Hinoka had already sworn off marriage for the duration of her military career and Azura was otherwise ineligible, which left Sakura as the only marriage candidate. Sakura had originally agreed, but she was clearly having doubts now.

“I’ll think of something,” Takumi promised. He’d had some fantasies, mainly involving challenging the enemy prince to a duel and then kicking him back to his homeland, but that would defeat the purpose of the prince’s visit in the first place. Takumi needed to come up with something else, and quickly. He hugged Sakura and patted her head a few times. “You should get some sleep. We all have to be at the reception tomorrow.”

Sakura nodded and squeezed Takumi one last time before heading back to her own room, her socked feet virtually silent once the shoji closed behind her. Takumi had to think. But he was tired, too, having stayed up late practicing his archery in frustration at the imminent situation. He lay in his futon, crossing ideas off in his mind, until the drag of sleep finally pulled him under.

Takumi never had peaceful sleep, and this time was no exception as the knocking of servants in the morning echoed in his dreams like a knell. He woke in cold sweat, no closer to a solution than he had been the night before, but still went through the process of getting dressed and ready for ceremony as if on autopilot.

A servant came by to inform Takumi that the Nohrian prince had just arrived, and would be taking a brief rest from the journey before being formally received by the family, and so (in Ryoma’s words) could Takumi be presentable within the half hour?

Takumi fixed his hair himself and let the servants add some finishing touches with makeup, and then he was ready to go out. To his surprise, Sakura was waiting in the hallway for him, while her retainer Hana encouragingly patted her on the back. She didn’t seem to have anything to say, but she looked worried and kept her head down as she followed Takumi to where the rest of the family was supposed to meet.

“Is everyone here?” Mikoto asked once all the siblings were gathered, sans Azura. They were arranged in formation, Mikoto at the head, Takumi with Ryoma on one side of the room, and their sisters on the other. Mikoto signaled for someone to bring the guest, and there was silence as the family waited.

Prince Leo entered cautiously but confidently, dressed in full Nohrian ceremonial armor. He approached Mikoto’s dais but stopped and knelt on one knee a respectful distance away as Takumi and his siblings bowed in greeting. “Your Majesty,” he said, head lowered.

“Welcome, Prince Leo,” Mikoto said serenely. “Let us sit.”

At the command, servants quietly entered and distributed floor cushions, on which everyone knelt, with the exception of Mikoto, who sat at her throne, and Leo, who forced a smile and looked apprehensively at the cushion. Takumi stared. Even a foreigner should be able to figure out what to do, shouldn’t he? Takumi opened his mouth to say something snide.

“Erm,” Ryoma coughed. “Perhaps we should move this to the banquet hall?”

Mikoto looked confused, and then blushed slightly in embarrassment, and there was a collective realization around the room. Leo’s ceremonial armor included leg plates for a complete look, and those prevented him from kneeling in the proper Hoshidan style. Ryoma probably noticed first since he often trained in his own armor.

“That would be. Good. Yes,” Leo said stiffly, clearly trying not to show embarrassment on his face.

Takumi had to stifle a laugh as everyone got up and straightened clothing. He noticed that Sakura had a shy smile on her face due to the mishap, the first genuine smile since he saw her that day. He tried to catch her eye but Hinoka ushered her away in the direction of the doors.

Ryoma led the way to the nearby banquet hall, where the long table had already been set up in anticipation of later activities. They sat in slightly different formation than in the throne on account of the table. Mikoto was at the head again, but this time Ryoma and Leo were seated at her sides, and the rest of the siblings arranged thereafter.

“My apologies about that,” Mikoto said once they were all situated. “And I hope you’ll excuse the setup as well, we were not planning on using this room until later.”

“Yes, it’s fine, I understand,” Leo said, smile now less forced but still rather fake in Takumi’s opinion. Since the table was narrower and Takumi was now somewhat across from the Nohrian prince, he had a better view of the intruder in their lives. Prince Leo was handsome enough, Takumi supposed, not that he had seen many Nohrians to compare, fairly young, and most curiously, wore a headband that seemed to serve no other purpose than decoration.

Mikoto smiled warmly. “Then, we may get right to business. I trust your elder brother has informed you of why you are here?”

“Of course, Your Majesty. I will be staying in your country for an extended time in order to prepare for marrying into your family. With Princess Sakura, I believe?” Leo spoke smoothly, and when Takumi glanced next to Leo at Sakura, he saw that she was staring stone-faced at the plate in front of her.

A terrible, stupid plan entered Takumi’s mind just then, but he’d say anything at that moment to get that expression off his precious little sister’s face. “Excuse me, but about that,” Takumi said, earning five pairs of eyes. “Plans changed, and you won’t be marrying Sakura anymore.”

Leo was surprised, but not as much as the rest of Takumi’s family, saying, “Is that so? I thought that Princess Hinoka was not…”

Takumi kicked himself for not thinking of at least informing their mother, the _queen_ , of the situation. He continued onwards, aware that he was digging his own grave deeper with every word. “Yes, that’s right. We have another sister who has agreed to the marriage. But she is currently not at the capital.”

“What other sister?” Hinoka interrupted. “Do you mean–”

Takumi kicked her under the table, grateful now for the scene change. And looked at Sakura again. She now had a look of horror on her face. Of course she had understood immediately what Takumi had come up with. His little sister was his closest friend and confidant, and that was why he was willing to make the sacrifice he was proposing.

Mikoto and Ryoma had not said anything yet, but they could clearly see that something was going on. Mikoto’s expression was tinged with worry while Ryoma had closed his eyes and cleared his face of all emotion.

“We were meaning to inform you, Prince Leo, but it was a sudden decision that occurred while you were en route,” Mikoto said. She glanced over at Takumi, her eyes saying, _I’ll cover for you, but you must explain to me later about this_.

“Not a problem, Your Majesty. My stay here has no definite end. I look forward to meeting the other Princess whenever she returns.” Leo had to know something was up, but he courteously overlooked whatever had just transpired around him.

Ryoma spoke up. “Let us just discuss a few more points of the agreement and then we will leave you to rest from your trip before the evening banquet.”

Mikoto dismissed the meeting soon after, allowing Leo to leave first. Takumi caught a glimpse of two Nohrian retainers waiting for their lord just outside the door, and then it was shut behind the exiting prince. Hinoka, too, excused herself to prepare for the military drills she would run later. Takumi wanted to leave, too, but both Mikoto and Ryoma had looked at him in the way that said he shouldn’t even ask.

“Takumi, would you care to explain yourself?” Ryoma asked, voice hard. “Did you not think of the consequences of what you have just done?”

“I’m sorry, Brother!” Sakura cried out before Takumi could say anything. Her face was red and her eyes teary. “I told Brother Takumi that I wanted to back out of the marriage. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to you or Mother!”

Ryoma’s expression softened instantly. He was always easily swayed by a tearful younger sibling. “No, I should be sorry in that case. I did not fully take into consideration your feelings when we agreed to the alliance.”

“I’m sorry,” Sakura repeated. “I know I said yes, but then last night, I just got so scared…”

Mikoto left her seat and gathered Sakura into a hug, patting her daughter’s head. “Dear, you are not at fault. We will just have to decide what to do from here. Ryoma, do you think Azura would…?”

Ryoma shook his head. “We cannot. I know Nohr has not been interested in taking her back, but it could get complicated since she is originally from their country.”

Takumi felt like he was underwater watching the scene unfold. But this was his responsibility now, so he forced himself to say, “There won’t be any need for that. I will be the marriage partner.”

“Don’t,” Sakura pleaded, reaching across the table for Takumi’s hand, which he held loosely. “You don’t have to do that for me, I’ll get married, just _don’t_.”

Takumi squeezed her hand gently. He never meant to make her cry like that. “I’ve already decided,” he said as confidently as he could.

“Are you really going to…?” Mikoto asked worriedly. She shook her head. “No. If that is what you’ve chosen, then I will support you. You will always be my precious son. Please, take Sakura with you. I must discuss with Ryoma.”

Takumi moved around the table to take Sakura’s hand again, and the two of them left the room together. Once out in the hall, Takumi said, “For the time being, I’m going to need to stop my treatments. I know some things can’t be changed anymore. But hopefully I’ll be able to pass as a girl enough to get the marriage over with.”

Sakura just followed behind, one hand clutching Takumi’s and the other covering her face where tears rolled silently down her cheeks. “You don’t have to do that,” she said in a tiny voice.

“Please, Sakura. Let me do this. What kind of brother would I be if I couldn’t protect my little sister when she needed it most?”

Nodding, Sakura sniffed loudly as she tried to wipe her face without smudging her makeup all over her clothes. “Okay,” she said finally after her tears stopped falling. “Okay. Thank you, Brother.”

Takumi had nothing to do that day, since there was supposed to be the welcoming banquet later in the evening, so he changed into his regular outfit and took Fujin Yumi to his personal archery range to take his mind off the morning’s events. He shot arrow after arrow into the various targets set up, but became increasingly more frustrated as the arrows weren’t quite going where he wanted them to. Finally he gave himself a break, resting in the shade offered by the porch.

“I thought you had the day off, Lord Takumi,” said Oboro, passing by with a large basket. She set the basket down and sat next to Takumi, scowling. “Those Nohrians are here, aren’t they?”

Takumi eyed the basket and the fruits it contained, thinking that maybe he should have gotten some water but not particularly feeling up to doing so. “I met the prince this morning,” he said.

Oboro scowled even deeper. “Wish they would leave already.”

“Me too,” Takumi sighed. He briefly considered telling his trusted retainer of the new development, but no, he knew she would just get upset. “We need this alliance to work, though.”

“Yeah, I know.” Oboro stared out at the empty range for a while. There wasn’t really anything to see given that Fujin Yumi’s arrows had disappeared by then. Finally she stood and picked the basket back up. “I gotta deliver this. See you at the banquet tonight, Lord.”

After a while Takumi decided the midday sun wasn’t worth shooting arrows into the ground, and left the range to find someone to fetch him water. But as luck would have it, he ran into the one person in the entire palace that he didn’t want to see.

“Prince Leo,” Takumi said stiffly.

“Hello, Prince Takumi,” Leo greeted back with that fake-looking smile of his. He was accompanied by one of his retainers, a tall man wearing an eyepatch, and a palace servant who was presumably showing them somewhere. “I have heard about the gardens here, so I was just on my way to see them.”

Leo paused, as if waiting for Takumi to say he would join them. Takumi wanted to do nothing of the sort, though, so he excused himself and moved briskly away in the direction Leo’s little group had come from. Better to avoid the prince as much as possible so that it would be easier to fool him later.

And so, for the banquet and the next few days, Takumi avoided Leo like the plague. He had the servants keep him updated on Leo’s daily activities so there would be no accidental overlap, and he stopped taking his specially developed medication. It would take some time for nature to run its course, so in the meantime the family had corroborated the story that the absent sister was off on a trip around the country.

“For a mage, Prince Leo is a decent swordsman,” Ryoma said to Takumi after a morning briefing. “I have had the opportunity to spar with him a few times. He seems to be making an effort to become friendly with us, so I imagine he will try to talk to you as well.”

“It’s better if I don’t,” Takumi said sullenly. He’d heard the day before from Hinoka that Leo had been curious about the pegasi, and that she had personally showed him the stables where they were kept. He hadn’t heard anything from Sakura about the prince, but he knew she would be too shy to refuse if he invited her.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Ryoma sighed, “but it’s not like you can really change your face, even if you can change everything else. You might as well become acquainted at the very least.”

Takumi didn’t bother to argue with Ryoma. His brother, despite his severity, was inclined to trust the good in people, even, apparently, if they were Nohrians. Takumi was not so easily swayed. After checking in with the servants, Takumi again headed to the archery range. He had been out barely an hour before there was an unwanted interruption.

“Wow, so the legendary Gale Striker was here in Hoshido all along!” said an enthusiastic voice. “It’s an absolutely marvelous bow! It’s even better than I imagined! Oh, I’ve found you, my lord.”

Takumi turned, irritated, ready to give the speaker a piece of his mind for calling his Fujin Yumi such a stupid name, and stopped short when he realized Prince Leo was sitting on the porch, and probably had been for a while given that his retainer had been searching for him. “What are you doing?” Takumi demanded, caught so off-guard that he forgot that he had to be polite.

Leo laughed and pointed to several scrolls beside him. “Well, I was looking for a place to read, and found you here by chance. We haven’t had much chance to talk. I was going to call out to you, but that really is an interesting bow. I couldn’t help but observe.”

“I didn’t say you could do that,” Takumi said, even though he really had no control over who was allowed on the range.

Leo was silent for a moment, and finally said, “You don’t seem to like me very much.”

Takumi saw no point in pretending. “No, I don’t,” he agreed.

In the seconds immediately after, Leo’s entire demeanor seemed to change. His casual smile disappeared, replaced by a brooding frown, and he held his head a little higher as if in disdain. “At least you’re honest,” Leo said, his previously courteous tone gone. “You know, I’m not entirely pleased with the whole matter either. But if my country demands that I make personal sacrifices, then so be it.”

With that, Leo gathered up his scrolls and marched away, blond retainer in tow. Takumi seethed at the sudden attitude change, but then again, he had not acted properly either. And as Takumi whiled his afternoon away with practice, he turned the words Leo had said after the pretenses dropped over in his mind, he felt that maybe he could be just a bit sympathetic.

“I’ve spoken with Prince Leo, and he doesn’t seem so bad,” Sakura said a few weeks later at Takumi’s checkup. She regularly helped out at the palace’s clinic, and she’d always been there for Takumi throughout his transitioning process.

“There’s nothing to regret,” Takumi said, knowing what she was getting at. He waited patiently as Sakura went through the basics, and then as she went to fetch Orochi from across the hall.

“How do you feel, Lord Takumi?” Orochi asked as she entered the clinic. “Or rather, should I start calling you Lady?”

Takumi grimaced. Orochi, too, had always been there for Takumi for as long as he could remember, which was both a blessing and a curse for the exact same reason. “It’s way too early for that. Anyway, I feel like I’ve gained weight,” he said, patting his thighs to indicate where.

Orochi tilted his face up and peered at it. “You look a little more babyfaced, too. Have you looked in a mirror recently?”

Ignoring the question, Takumi brushed Orochi off and stood. There wasn’t much else to be done for the checkup, and he had a feeling that Orochi would start talking about his preteen years if he stayed any longer. She had that mischievous smile on her face. “Is there anything else?” he asked, just in case.

“No, you can go. Let me know if you feel anything else happening.”

Takumi exited the clinic and went across the hall to the medical archive, where Sakura was organizing the scrolls that Orochi had displaced. Unexpectedly, Leo’s loudmouthed retainer was also there, and spotted Takumi before he could catch Sakura’s attention.

“Greetings, Second Prince!” the man exclaimed, coming up to offer his hand. “We finally meet face-to-face. My name is Odin Dark, and I am a humble servant of Lord Leo.”

“Yes, hello,” Takumi returned. Shaking the hand quickly, Takumi tried to side-step Odin to get further into the archive to Sakura, but the man was oblivious. “Um. Why are you here…?”

Odin puffed up his chest proudly and made a grand gesture, blocking the way past even more. “Yes, of course! Even a practitioner of the forbidden dark arts such as myself should occasionally find need of the white magic. So I have been studying under the tutelage of the Lady Orochi here in between my missions.”

Finally noticing the noise, Sakura approached the other two, laughing as she clarified, “Odin has been learning about healing magic from Orochi. Did you need something else, Brother?”

“Oh! Excuse my interruption then, Prince!” Odin bowed again, and finally retreated into the depths of the archive.

“Is he always like that?” Takumi whispered, to which Sakura laughed again.

“He’s funny, isn’t he?” she said. “Odin shows me tricks sometimes. He calls them ‘sleights of hand’. He said he learned them from his friend back in Nohr.”

Takumi smiled despite himself, happy to see that his sister was getting along with someone new, and Nohrian at that. “Actually, I just wanted to ask you, since you said you’ve spoken with Prince Leo recently… Has he said anything about me?”

Sakura scrunched up her face in thought. “Not really,” she said finally. “I mean, he’s asked about my ‘other sister’, and I’ve tried to be vague, but I’m really not good at lying. Is that what you mean?”

“That’s okay,” Takumi said, ruffling her hair lightly. “I was a little rude to him last time I saw him. I was thinking maybe I should apologize so I’m going to look for him now.”

“In that case, I think Odin said Prince Leo is reading in the garden again today.”

Takumi thanked Sakura and left her to the scrolls. He hadn’t been to the garden recently on account of the fact that Leo was usually there, according to the servants’ reports. It truly was a lovely place, the pride of the imperial palace, a vast central courtyard filled with all sorts of greenery and complete with its own system of ponds and waterfalls. As a child, he and Sakura would hide in the bushes to avoid going to royal gatherings, and they often also played games with Azura in the garden.

Quietly following the winding stone paths around, Takumi kept an eye out for the Nohrian prince. He knew there were plenty of hidden places in the garden, but he’d spent less and less time in it as the years went on and was no longer familiar with the shrubbery. Eventually he came upon Leo’s other retainer, napping in the shade of a large tree.

“Excuse me,” Takumi called out to the man, figuring it was easier to just ask someone whose duty was to keep an eye on his lord than wandering around searching every nook himself.

The man opened his single eye and looked Takumi up and down, making no other effort to move or become more presentable. “Second Prince,” he said lazily.

Takumi frowned, already disliking the retainer’s disrespectful attitude. But he did not come to the garden to pick fights with retainers, so he asked, “Where is your lord? I wish to speak with him.”

“I don’t think Lord Leo wishes to speak with _you_ ,” the man said, closing his eye again and feigning sleep.

That _really_ rankled. Takumi had half a mind to kick the man and just leave, but again, he’d come with a goal and he was nothing if not stubborn in accomplishing his own goals. “This shouldn’t be any business of yours, really, but I’m looking for Prince Leo because I’d like to apologize to him. Could you _please_ just tell me where he is.”

Finally the man sat up, smirking, no doubt amused by the upset written on Takumi’s face. “Did you hear that, milord?” he called up into the tree he’d been leaning against.

Takumi whipped his head up. There, in the middle branches of the tree, sat Prince Leo, dressed in some form of Nohrian casualwear, and sporting a sack slung over one shoulder filled with an assortment of scrolls. He’d clearly been reading one, and was looking down at what was happening on the ground with interest and mild amusement.

“I’m coming down, Niles,” Leo said. And he rolled up the scroll he was holding, put it with the others, and started climbing down. His retainer, Niles, stood to help him off the lowest branch. To Takumi, Leo said, “Let’s walk around.”

Niles sat back down and made himself comfortable, much to Takumi’s relief. He normally wouldn’t have minded a retainer’s presence, but this one riled him up in the bad way.

“I don’t usually like being interrupted while I’m reading,” Leo explained once they were a little way along the path.

“I don’t usually like being interrupted while I’m practicing,” Takumi countered, earning a small smile from Leo. “That is to say, I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

Leo waved a hand dismissively. “I appreciate that you wish to apologize to me, but really, you don’t have to pretend. I find it more comfortable knowing what someone really thinks of me.” In a quieter voice, he added, “I’m tired of playing court games.”

Takumi kicked a particularly sizeable rock off the bridge they were crossing, and it fell into the pond with a satisfying _plop_. This part of the garden was a bit unfamiliar, and Takumi was somewhat grateful for Leo’s lead. “I've never been good at that kind of thing– you know, pretending,” he admitted, thinking of all the times Ryoma had told him he was too honest with his emotions.

_You’re headstrong, like Hinoka_ , Ryoma had said. _That’s not a bad thing. That just means you’re very honest._

“That’s not a bad thing,” Leo said, unknowingly echoing Ryoma. “It means you’ve grown up in an environment where you didn’t have to constantly watch your back.”

Takumi didn’t know how to respond to that, so they ended up walking in silence for a few minutes. At least, between the two of them. The garden was filled with birdsong and the bubbling of the waterfalls and the wind rustling through leaves. Takumi realized that he missed spending time in the garden.

“I’m sure you have questions for me. You can go ahead and ask them,” Leo said, breaking the silence.

There _were_ several questions that popped into Takumi’s mind just then, but the most appropriate he felt was: “What’s your family like? Back in Nohr?”

Leo seemed surprised, which Takumi found funny given that the other prince had solicited for questions. “I’ve a few siblings, like you. Tw– I mean, well, I guess it’s no secret. Two older brothers, one older sister, and one younger. My father is the king, as you know.”

“Your mother?”

“Died a long time ago.” Leo was emotionless as he spoke, making Takumi frown. “We haven’t had a queen in years. Not that my mother was queen, anyway.”

Takumi nodded, turning this information over in his mind. He knew, vaguely, that Nohr’s royal family publicly held three sons and two daughters, and he’d always wondered if that official count included the brother he used to have. Asking further about Kamui would just open a new can of worms, though, so Takumi opted for a topic change. “What are you always reading?” he asked.

Shrugging, Leo stopped and pulled out one scroll to show Takumi. “Obviously, stuff from your library. I find your historical records most interesting.”

“Oh, I’ve read that one,” Takumi said, recognizing the first few lines. Leo put the scroll away and they resumed walking. “I like the historical stuff too since I like reading up on past battles and strategies and such. But my brother tells me I should also read the ones on political strategy and governance.”

“He probably just wants you to have a well-rounded knowledge. My oldest brother says the same things, since I will help run the kingdom someday. At least, I thought I would.” Leo’s tone was emotionless again, but he quickly covered it up, saying, “Ah, there he is.”

Takumi looked in the direction Leo was looking. Sure enough, they had somehow circled around the garden and come back to where Niles was still resting against the tree.

“I’m sure you have other plans this afternoon,” Leo said. “Hey, show me that bow of yours sometime, won’t you?”

It was a clear enough dismissal. But Takumi had learned a bit about Leo, and he conveniently wanted to retreat and think about how he felt about the other prince. “I’m usually practicing my archery in the mornings,” he said, as much of an invitation as it was going to get.

Leo nodded in understanding and waved Takumi away, moving towards his retainer. As Takumi started heading out of the garden, he heard Niles snicker and ask, “How was your date?”

_What a rude retainer!_ was all Takumi thought.

Takumi carried out his regular schedule the next day, and then the day after that, and then was woken up in the early morning hours the day after by an excruciating ache in his lower abdomen. It was a pain both familiar and unfamiliar, something he’d been expecting of late but still was unprepared for. He lit a lamp and checked his body and his blankets; no blood, that was still a good sign. He pulled the cord for the servant bell, and within minutes his door slid open and a kneeling servant peeked in.

“Could you call Orochi here, please,” Takumi gasped, doubled up in an effort to alleviate the pain.

The servant looked concerned but said nothing, merely bowing and shutting the door with a soft _thud_.

By the time Orochi arrived, hair wild and clad only in a dubiously sheer robe, Takumi was practically rolling around on the floor, knees clutched to his chest. “Lord Takumi, are you alright? What’s happened?” she demanded, crouching and putting a hand on Takumi to get him to stop.

Takumi uncurled and rolled onto his stomach, laying his cheek against the cool floor. “Cramps,” he groaned.

Instantly Orochi’s urgency disappeared, and she made a nonplussed huff. “Oh, is that all? I thought you were dying.”

“I _am_ ,” Takumi said, stubbornly turning his head away from Orochi. He noticed that there was the shadow of something left under his dresser. Not something he would do anything about now, but he’d probably forget later. “I haven’t had cramps in _years_.”

“Welcome back to the life,” Orochi laughed, rubbing Takumi’s lower back. She stood and readjusted her robe. “Let me run to the clinic and grab a rod and some other things you’ll need from now on.”

With that, she left Takumi alone in the room. The initial wave of pain had dissipated to a bearable level, so Takumi got up on his knees and crawled to the dresser to retrieve the fallen object underneath while he was still thinking about it. He withdrew an incredibly dusty hair comb. It was so dusty, in fact, that he couldn’t even tell what the color or design of the thing was. Takumi wrinkled his nose at the dust smearing his hands, crawling over to the basin nearby and submerging his hands and the comb in the water.

As the dust dissipated in the water, the beauty of the comb was revealed. It was black-lacquered with mother-of-pearl inlays depicting a crane near a pond. He remembered, fondly, that it had been a gift from Mikoto back when she first became his mother. Takumi hadn’t even known it was missing; he’d put all his childhood things away into storage a few years ago, and had probably dropped the comb then.

Feeling nostalgic, Takumi moved over to the mirror and held the comb up to his hair. He felt compelled to go a step further and tie his hair up, and since the abdominal pain was increasing again, he settled with using his obi instead of moving again to the dresser for a ribbon. The ponytail was messy and the obi way too long, but Takumi still tucked the comb into his hair and turned his head this way and that, admiring the way the comb looked. Even if he no longer wore hair ornaments, he liked the way the black of the comb stood out against his light hair.

“What are you doing, Lord Takumi?”

Takumi swiveled to face the incomer, a little embarrassed at being caught, though it was just Orochi returning from the clinic. He saw her eyes flick down and then up again, and remembered belatedly that his robe was hanging open and exposing his chest. “You should have knocked,” he said, flushing slightly and pulling the robe closed.

“Oh come on, who do you think dressed you and wiped your butt when you were little?” Orochi teased. Her tone turned serious as she added, “Your breasts are starting to fill out. Why didn’t you mention that the other day?”

“I was hoping I was just imagining it,” Takumi replied glumly. He wrapped his arms tighter about his abdomen. The next wave of pain was rearing.

Orochi _hmm_ ’d. She grinned. “What if they get as big as mine?”

“No _way_.” Takumi slapped her shoulder lightly and scowled, to which she laughed. “Did you bring the stuff? It’s hurting again.”

“Of course, of course.” Orochi set down the cloth bundle she held and took out a short rod. She waved it in Takumi’s direction and immediately the pain lessened. “I’ll leave this here so you can take it with you and ask any magic-user to use it. And I also brought–” she indicated each object in turn– “a magicked salve for pain relief that you can use on your own, though it’s not as effective, and a girdle and some cloths for the blood. You still remember how to put that on, or do you need help with that too?”

Takumi huffed. “I can do it myself.”

Orochi laughed again. “Well, you’ve always been like that. I’ll leave you to it. By the way, the comb looks nice on you.”

“You–!” Flushing more now, Takumi pushed Orochi toward the door. “Get out already,” he said without any real bite. He’d forgotten about the comb still stuck in his hair.

“Like I said, tell me if you notice any changes,” Orochi said, letting Takumi push her out the door. She patted him reassuringly on the arm, then turned and disappeared into the darkness of the hall.

Takumi huffed again to himself and went to retrieve the bundle. He still wasn’t bleeding, but it was only a matter of time, so he took the girdle and a cloth to put them on. It had been years but habit was strong, and he had the setup secured with little fumbling. Like the cramps, it felt both familiar and unfamiliar, and it was something he would just have to get used to again. Then he finally took out the hair comb and the trailing obi and just stood holding both objects in his hands as he debated what to do next.

It was probably too late to try to get some more sleep; Takumi could see dawn’s light through the shoji. And he had a sudden memory of his most recent nightmare, of Ryoma telling him he’d never be strong enough to be a warrior.

_But Hinoka is a warrior_ , Takumi had said.

_You’re different_ , responded Ryoma. _You’re not suited for fighting. Like Sakura isn’t._

Takumi shook his head to clear the thought away. He knew Ryoma would never say those things. Still, that insecurity nagged in the back of his head.

Setting the comb on his dresser and blowing out the little lamp, Takumi got dressed for the day. He decided on just going to practice archery like he did most mornings, albeit a little earlier than usual. It would help him to relax and feel normal. He took Fujin Yumi from its stand, and after a pause, tucked the healing rod into his belt as well. Just in case.

The archery range was still dark with shadows by the time Takumi arrived, as the sun had not yet peeked out from behind the horizon. Takumi didn’t mind; he often practiced at night as well, and it was useful to be proficient in both good and bad lighting. He rearranged the dummies to offer some change, and fired a few blind shots as a warm-up.

“Hey, Prince Takumi,” called a now-familiar voice. It was Leo, of course, announcing his presence this time.

“You can just call me by my name,” Takumi said, moving towards the porch to meet the other prince. He noticed Leo was holding a large tome. “You’re up pretty early.”

“I wasn’t sure when you’d be up,” Leo said easily. “Oh, and you can call me Leo, too.”

_Odd_ , thought Takumi, since it was the crack of dawn, and even uncertainty had its limits. But he didn’t push that point, instead asking, “So you wanted to see my bow, right?”

Leo nodded eagerly. “Yes, it was rather fascinating. I have never seen a bow that materializes the string and arrows like that. I assume it’s magical?”

“Er, it isn’t. I have absolutely no magic ability,” Takumi admitted. It was true. He was the only member of his family who completely failed to show any aptitude for magic. Even Ryoma could at least summon a rat spirit.

Leo’s expression turned to confusion, and he glanced down. “Isn’t that a staff you have there?”

“I’m… just carrying it around. Just in case.”

“Okay, well…” Leo seemed doubtful of Takumi’s terrible explanation, and changed the subject back. “Please explain to me how it works, then.”

Takumi did so. Fujin Yumi was his pride, and he spoke of it in such a way. He told Leo of how it was a weapon passed down through his family, and how the bow was a reflection of its wielder’s will, and fired a few more shots so Leo could inspect its arrows. It made Takumi happy to see Leo’s obvious interest in the bow.

After Takumi was finished with his demonstrations, Leo picked up the book he’d left sitting on the porch. “Here, since you showed me your weapon, I brought my tome to show you as well.”

Since the morning sun was rising by then, Takumi could more clearly see the ancient-looking book. It had a purple cover with an ornate design, and its yellowed pages were filled with some scrawl Takumi couldn’t even hope to decipher.

“This is Brynhildr,” Leo started to explain. Brynhildr, like the Fujin Yumi, had been passed down as a family heirloom. And like Takumi, Leo demonstrated some spells summoning tree branches, one of which knocked over a dummy.

Takumi didn’t know anything about magic, but he was intrigued by the ability to call forth nature. Nohrian magic seemed much different from Hoshidan magic, which called on spirits. “My brother said that you are a good swordsman as well,” Takumi said, remembering what Ryoma had told him.

“Did he? I’m flattered. Prince Ryoma is quite excellent. I have not won against him, but I suspect he could be on par with my brother.” Leo looked pensive for a moment. “Do you use any other weapons?” he asked.

“I’ve moderate ability in swordplay,” Takumi answered, shrugging. “I haven’t pursued it much. Not recently, at least.”

“We could spar together, perhaps. Common ground and all that.” Leo frowned slightly. “To be honest, Prince Ryoma was probably just being courteous. I’m of rather average ability as well.”

Takumi laughed lightly. “I’ll bet you’re better than I am. Sure, we can spar. I should get into sword form again anyway.”

Leo smiled again and nodded. “Alright. Next week afternoon, at the other courtyard?”

It was a bit of a vague invitation, but Takumi knew what Leo meant. “Sounds good,” he agreed.

“Then I’ll let you get back to your own practice,” Leo said. “I should get going before my retainers come searching for me.”

They bid each other goodbye, and Takumi returned to practicing as Leo disappeared into the palace. In recent days, he’d had to make some changes to his routine. Though they weren’t completely unwelcome, they served as a reminder that Takumi himself was changing. As he moved on to a light run around the range, he started to wonder how his sword ability was after months of not practicing.

After lunch and a visit to Sakura, Takumi found Hinata predictably in the dirt courtyard practicing sword swings, and informed his retainer of his new intention.

“You wanna train with me, milord?” Hinata asked, breaking into a grin. “Sure thing! Why so suddenly? Oh! Did you want to test my skill?”

Takumi hefted a bokken from the rack, then tried another two, frowning when they all seemed heavier than he remembered. He’d noticed that it felt more difficult to draw his bow, too. He put that thought aside and selected the lightest sword of the ones he tried, joining Hinata under the sun. “It’s not like that. Leo asked if I would spar with him next week, and I want to be sure I’m not completely rusty.”

“Leo?” Hinata repeated.

“Prince Leo,” Takumi corrected hastily, embarrassed at being caught addressing the other prince so casually even though Hinata probably thought nothing of the slip-up.

“Ohhh yeah the Nohrian prince!” Hinata seemed excited all over again. “So he’s good at swords too? Kinda like Odin – his retainer, the blond one – is a magic-user but we had a practice match and I could barely get a point against him!”

“What? You’re like the best I know, aside from my brother and Hana.”

“Well, Odin kinda caught me off guard. You know, I’ve fought Nohrians before, but his style was different, I didn’t expect it,” Hinata said sheepishly.

Takumi distantly remembered Sakura _had_ mentioned that Odin was from a faraway place. Not that that should matter to him. He lifted his sword and assumed a starting stance, and Hinata did the same. “I’m certain Prince Leo is Nohrian, so it’d help me if you could copy their style. Let’s start.”

“You got it, milord.”

They clashed. Takumi had to grit his teeth and strain his muscles against Hinata’s brute strength, but he was simultaneously glad that his retainer wasn’t holding back on account of their positions. Takumi hadn’t picked up a sword since the time Ryoma put him on his back in the dirt in a match, but the years of drills burned in his memory. A swing here, a parry there, a sidestep followed by a jab and sweep. He wasn’t beating Hinata by any means, but he was holding his ground.

Finally Hinata landed a hit to Takumi’s side, and they broke apart, both breathing heavily. “You’re still as, good as I remember,” Hinata gasped.

“You swing like an ox,” Takumi responded, also trying to catch his breath. His arms were not holding up well. His side hurt from Hinata’s strike, though it was a more comfortable pain than the cramps. “I’m not quite in shape– can we just do one more round?”

“Yeah, ready when you are.”

They clashed again. This time, Takumi found it easier to predict Hinata’s moves, and the bout ended with Takumi landing a hit to Hinata’s shoulder.

“I’ll get us some water,” Hinata said, jogging away.

Takumi dropped his sword on the ground so he could stretch his tender arms. Really, it was unfair how brawny Hinata was! Takumi had wanted to build that kind of muscle once upon a time, though he remained rather slim through all his efforts. He remembered Azura commenting that he would seem odd all bulked up on account of his narrow shoulders. He’d been upset by her words then, but was grateful now as he’d learned to just settle with the way his body was going to be.

Hinata returned, bearing two corked bottles of water. “Here, milord,” he said, passing one bottle over.

Takumi quickly gulped the water down. After he was finished, he asked, “I can come practice with you again, right?”

“Of course, milord! You don’t even need to ask!” Hinata grinned and slapped Takumi heavily on the back, causing the prince to stumble forward. “You know where to find me.”

The next day, Takumi took a break and only did light exercises, sore from the day before and dealing with his first flow in years. He first sought out Sakura at the clinic, found Orochi instead, and was redirected to the palace’s main library. So off Takumi went in search.

The main library was a vast room, and like the medical archive, had floor-to-ceiling shelves jam-packed with scrolls and in one section, books. Though Takumi liked reading, he never liked staying in the library for long as he felt it was too quiet and that made him feel restricted. He entered, nodding to the assistant on duty, and made his way over to the back where he knew there was an area with tables.

As expected, Sakura was there, but unexpectedly, she was with Azura and Leo. The three of them were kneeling at a small square table, looking at something together.

Azura noticed Takumi first, waving him over. “Good morning, Takumi,” she said.

Sakura and Leo looked up, too, saying their greetings. Takumi greeted them back but didn’t approach the table, instead motioning for Azura to come to him so he could speak to her privately.

“What is it that you need?” Azura asked in a quiet voice once they were among the shelves.

“What are you doing?” Takumi practically demanded in whisper. “Did Ryoma not say that you should stay away from Prince Leo?”

Azura’s eyebrows knitted together. “If this is about Nohr possibly taking me back, there is nothing to worry about.”

“What do you mean?”

“I suppose this was never sworn to secrecy, so–” Azura leaned in closer to Takumi. “I have already spoken with Prince Leo privately about the matter. He knows my situation, and does not intend to return me to Nohr under any circumstances.”

Originally, Takumi would have been doubtful, but he’d been getting to know the Nohrian prince, and contrary to Takumi’s initial fancy, Leo was a rather honest individual. And he trusted Azura to judge for herself whether to believe Leo’s words. He nodded his assent, though it wasn’t like he had any authority over what Azura did with her time.

They returned to the table together, and Takumi saw that the other three had been playing, or at least attempting to play, shogi. From the looks of it, Sakura and Azura were playing together as a team, but they seemed to be struggling. Leo had already captured more of their pieces.

“We’ve been seeing each other a lot recently,” Leo commented to Takumi. “Your sisters have been teaching me this _shogi_. It’s quite like the chess we have in Nohr.”

Sakura smiled and blushed. “I was playing with Azura, and Prince Leo seemed interested, so we offered to teach him how to play. But he’s already better at it than we are!”

“It’s a complicated game,” Takumi said sympathetically, patting Sakura’s shoulder as he sat down. “Here, I’ll help you.”

Even three against one, Takumi was unable to salvage the game for Sakura. “Aw, we lost,” she said as Leo moved to checkmate her king. She congratulated him and turned to Takumi. “Brother, did you want something from me?”

Takumi remembered he _did_ have a purpose, but that purpose was fulfilled when he saw Orochi at the clinic. Namely, to have someone use the healing rod so he could go about his day without the urge to stab himself in the gut. “Uh, I wanted to talk to you about _that_ , but I forgot I already talked to Orochi about it,” he said after a pause. “So, I guess not.”

“What’s with that?” Sakura said, covering a small laugh with one hand. To Leo, she said, “It was fun playing with you, but I have to go help my mother with something. Since my brother is here, maybe he’ll show you a thing or two.”

“No, it was my pleasure,” Leo said, standing to help Sakura to her feet. He helped Azura up too, who excused herself similarly, and finally Takumi was left alone with the other prince again. “So, you’re good at _shogi_?” Leo asked once sitting back down.

“The best in my family,” Takumi replied, moving over to the opposite side of the table from Leo. It wouldn’t hurt to play a game or two, since he didn’t really have anything planned for the day. He started to set up the board, Leo doing the same.

After Takumi did the piece toss and established that he would move first, Leo said, “Actually, it’s good that you came by, since I wanted to talk to you about something that probably wouldn’t be appropriate conversation for what we planned next week.”

Takumi tensed. Inappropriate conversation?

Leo continued as he deliberated his own first move. “If it’s okay, I wanted to ask about your other sister. The one I’m to marry.”

“Oh, uh, of course,” Takumi braved. Of course that topic would come up eventually. He’d already decided with his family that the absent sister was away studying with the Wind Tribe and would return once she had completed her studies in a few months’ time. Maybe even sooner. He could be vague, how would Leo know?

A few turns passed in somewhat heavy silence before Leo finally asked a question. “What’s your sister’s name?”

Takumi hesitated. “Tsuru,” he answered.

“Tsuru,” Leo repeated. That made Takumi feel odd, hearing that old name from someone else’s mouth. At one point in his life, perhaps it suited him. “That’s a nice name. What’s she like?”

Okay, that was a little more difficult. Being vague was one thing, but Takumi didn’t want to lie if he could help it. “She’s… stubborn. A little hotheaded. She used to be rather shy when we were little and still has a hard time talking to people.” Takumi rattled off a few more things about himself, realizing glumly that they were all rather negative. He supposed it was best to prepare Leo for the worst.

“Is that so…” Leo mused, eyebrows knitting together in thought as Takumi captured a rook. “That’s not quite in line with what your siblings told me when I asked. They said she’s considerate of the people around her, and diligent in accomplishing her goals. That she excels in whatever she puts her mind to. And that she’s very elegant and beautiful. Though, none of your siblings would tell me her name.”

Takumi had to laugh at that, a nervous and disbelieving laugh. He did think it was nice of his siblings to leave the choice of name up to him, but what were they thinking in telling Leo all of that? “I think my siblings have exaggerated a little,” Takumi said ruefully.

Leo promoted another piece, a lance this time. They both had a roughly equal amount of captures and drops. “Are you close in age with Princess Tsuru?” he asked.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Takumi internally debated his next move. For someone who’d just learned the basic rules recently, Leo was putting up a good fight. It seemed he was picking up strategies just from being in play alone. “You mentioned earlier there’s a Nohrian game that’s similar, right?” he said, sort of hoping to change the subject. There wasn’t really much else he could say about his fake sister, anyway.

“Chess,” Leo supplied. “Yes, it’s very similar. We play it on an eight-by-eight board and have sixteen pieces, most of which are similar to the ones you have in _shogi_. The rules are similar too, but we don’t have drops. At least, not in standard play. And only pawns can be promoted.”

“It seems a little restricted,” Takumi commented. “I can see how that could require different strategy.”

“I did bring a chess set with me from Nohr, since I was hoping to play with my retainers sometime, though Odin is hopeless at it and Niles is… more of a word game person. Perhaps you would be interested in learning?” Leo asked with something like hope in his voice.

Takumi couldn’t deny that he was interested. He _had_ been seeing Leo a lot lately though, and the other prince seemed to be pushing their meetings. Not that Takumi minded as much – Leo was easy to talk to in a way that was different from Takumi’s interactions with his siblings and retainers. He kind of wished that they had met under different circumstances, that he didn’t have to dance around being secretly engaged or lie about who he was. They shouldn’t be meeting too much.

“Maybe not this week,” Takumi said, feeling bad when Leo’s eagerness deflated. He suddenly remembered something to use as an excuse. “We, uh, have family business going on later this week. Sakura’s birthday.”

“That’s quite alright,” Leo said, nodding distractedly. He turned his attention back to the game and fell silent.

“We’ll still have our sparring session next week,” Takumi added. He also felt bad for using Sakura as an excuse. _Why did I even give one in the first place?_ he thought.

They continued the game quietly for a while, talking about simpler things such as other hobbies and likes and dislikes. It felt too much like they were just trying to cover up silence, and Takumi was glad when he finally managed to squeeze out a checkmate and end the game.

Sakura’s fifteenth birthday came and went, a small celebration just within the family the way she preferred it. Takumi had gone with Oboro to town to pick out a present, a stuffed bear made of blue floral-patterned fabric. Sakura loved it immensely, adding it to her collection of dolls and stuffed animals immediately and insisting that Takumi should honor the birthday girl’s wishes by playing with her. After a dinner of Sakura’s favorite foods, Takumi accompanied her to her room and sat through a number of make-believe scenarios.

Really, Sakura was too old to be playing with her dolls like this, but they were important to her, so they were important to Takumi, too.

Late that night as Takumi was returning to his own room, he was caught by none other than Mikoto, quietly shuffling through the hallway with only a small lantern for light.

“Ah, so that’s where you were,” she said with a warm smile. “You’ve never been able to say ‘no’ to Sakura, have you?”

“How could I?” Takumi laughed. “Did you need something from me, Mother?”

Mikoto said nothing, instead putting a gentle hand on Takumi’s shoulder while she searched him with her eyes. Finally she drew Takumi into a hug.

Takumi stiffened. “Um, Mother…?”

“I just wanted to see how you were doing,” Mikoto said quietly. Takumi couldn’t see her face, but her voice was heavy with unshed tears. “I know I haven’t made much time lately for all of you as a mother, and for you especially.”

“Mother, I’m not special,” Takumi said. He rested his hands awkwardly on her back, feeling the heat of the little lantern against his.

“You _are_ , Takumi.” Mikoto drew away, again seeking Takumi’s eyes with her own. “You’ve always done the most. I know that. We all know that. But I also know you’ve always tended to take on more burdens than you can bear.”

Takumi shied away, taking a half-step back out of Mikoto’s reach. “I’m fine. It isn’t– this isn’t the hardest thing I’ve done.”

Again Mikoto was quiet, probably deciding whether she wanted to pursue the lie or let Takumi go. She chose the latter, saying, ”I’ll bid you goodnight, then, but please, you can come to me any time. I always have an open ear for my children.”

“I will, Mother.” Takumi waited a second more, in case Mikoto had something to add, but she only _looked_ , shook her head wearily and continued her way down the dark hall. Takumi felt a wave of tiredness finally hit, and he was quick to return to his room and settle for sleep.

In his dream that night, Mikoto called him _Tsuru_.

_What is it, Mother?_ Takumi responded.

_What are you doing? Do you think that just by dressing up like a boy and waving your sword around, you’ll be as good as your brother? You’ll have to work a lot harder than that, Tsuru._

_I’m not going to be a swordmaster,_ Takumi said. His own voice sounded so far away, unlike Mikoto’s, which echoed around him. _Not like Father. Not like Ryoma. I’ve got Fujin Yumi now, too._

He was holding his bow, suddenly, its grip comfortable and familiar in his hand. He held it up to show Mikoto, frowning in her throne. The bowstring didn’t materialize for him.

_See? You’re not good enough. The bow thinks so, too._

Hinoka stepped out of the shadows, or rather, she simply appeared in the room. She took the bow from Takumi’s slack grip, and its string blazed blue. _It’s okay, Tsuru. I’ll wield it._

_Fujin Yumi is mine. I worked so hard for it!_

There was a shadow over Hinoka’s face. She raised the bow and drew, and Takumi found himself staring down the wrong end of his own arrow. _You’re wrong, Tsuru,_ Hinoka said, though her mouth didn’t open. _You’ve never been good enough. We don’t need two bow users in this family._

_But I wanted to protect all of you, too._

Takumi woke to the early morning sun and a piercing pain through his head. He sat up slowly, wincing, the details of the nightmare already receding but the words _not good enough_ still echoing. Against the far side of his room, Fujin Yumi lay innocently in its stand, like it hadn’t betrayed Takumi in his dream just a short while ago.

Pettily ignoring the bow as he prepared for the day, Takumi tried to focus on Mikoto’s words from the night before rather than dwelling on her words from the dream. Finally, all dressed and ready to go, he stood before Fujin Yumi and picked it up. Its blue string appeared. He drew, and a blue arrow appeared. Takumi sighed, releasing and setting the bow back on the stand.

“You’re staying put today anyway,” Takumi chastised, immediately feeling silly for talking to his weapon. Maybe Sakura was rubbing off on him.

Since today was the day Takumi was to meet with Leo to spar, he refrained from doing much of anything in order to conserve his energy for the afternoon. First was light morning exercises with Hinata, who’d somehow gotten close with Leo’s theatrical retainer over the week and now insisted that Takumi send him on bizarre quests befitting of his so-called “sword hand”. Afterwards he accompanied Hinata (and Oboro, who joined them later) to the soldiers’ mess hall for an early brunch, finding it a nice change of pace from eating in his family’s private dining room. Takumi then filled in the rest of the time with some quiet reading in the library.

Leo was already there by the time Takumi arrived at the dirt practice courtyard, examining the rack of wooden swords with Odin. Hinoka was also there, running drills with her pegasus knights, though there was plenty of room left over for two princes to spar. She waved cheerfully from afar when she caught sight of Takumi, and he waved back before a hazy memory of the dream popped up.

“The second prince makes his entrance!” Odin exclaimed loudly, alerting Leo of Takumi’s arrival. He swept his arms dramatically and bowed. “Milord, I shall take my leave of you now, so that we may once again cross paths on the journey of fate.”

Leo rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. “Yeah, I’ll see you later, Odin. Hello, Takumi.”

Takumi greeted Leo back, then caught Odin as the sorcerer passed by. “Listen, Odin, could you, uh, _not_ put weird ideas in my retainer’s head about quests to ‘slay cryptic beasts in the frozen desert’?”

Odin practically beamed. “Ah! ‘Tis not I who beguiles your good friend to seek the impossible. It is he of the Howling Blade who has been inspired by my heroic exploits and aspires to greater conquests!”

“He of the _what_?” Takumi shook his head, patting Odin on the back to send the man on his way. “You know what, just. Tone it down a little bit around Hinata, please.”

“Er, yes, sir,” Odin said mildly, for once.

Leo was barely covering a snicker. “Sorry, all that stuff about quests is probably my fault. I used to send Odin out on what I thought were impossible missions for… _reasons_ , and he liked that, apparently.”

“Odd fellow.” Takumi pointed to the sword rack. “Have you already selected one?”

“Oh, I did,” Leo said, taking his chosen sword. He swung it experimentally, effortlessly. “Wooden swords are so nostalgic. In Nohr, only children can practice with wooden swords. Otherwise, if you get hurt, then that’s your own fault.”

Takumi selected the sword he’d been using all week with Hinata. It felt lighter and too easy to wield now, but he wanted to use something familiar rather than pick the next heavier sword. “No protective gear either?” he asked, referring to Nohrian practice.

“Not after you outgrow it, nope. Is your injury all right?”

“My injury?” Takumi repeated, confused. They sort of trickled onto the courtyard grounds synchronously, still plenty far from the soldiers’ drills.

Leo gestured vaguely. “You had a staff last week, so I assumed…”

Oh. Right. The rod. Takumi remembered Leo had asked about it. “That was… I had a stomach ache, actually.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. Takumi felt weird having Leo be concerned over him. “I’m fine. Should we start?”

Leo agreed, and they took up starting stances.

Takumi appraised his opponent. Leo gripped the sword with a swordmaster’s familiarity, and his stance was relaxed yet clearly poised to make his move. Takumi prepared for Leo to strike first, but after a few seconds of wait-and-see, realized Leo was doing the exact same. Someone had to break this stalemate and Takumi was a little impatient.

The first clash happened quickly. Takumi went for an offensive slash, noticing that Leo reacted almost as soon as Takumi changed his grip to attack. Leo parried swiftly and went for a counterattack in one fluid motion. They traded blows for a few minutes, neither gaining any significant ground against the other. Leo’s technique was roughly as Hinata had demonstrated, though obviously much more polished, and his movements were slow but deliberate. He clearly also had had practice with the Hoshidan style, able to anticipate Takumi’s moves without much error.

“Alright,” Takumi said as they locked swords for the umpteenth time. He disengaged, rolling his shoulders. “You’re good, like my brother said.”

“As are you,” Leo replied, readjusting his hairband. “I must say, your style is quite different than Prince Ryoma’s. It’s aggressive. You fight like you have something to prove.”

Takumi stared. How had Leo gathered all that just from the few minutes they’d fought under the afternoon sun? And it was an analysis that felt somewhat invasive, though Takumi didn’t know how. He had to say something back. “Well, uh, you fight very defensively. The type who wins by attrition, probably.”

Leo gave a small smile. “I guess I’m used to practicing with my brother. Sometimes it’s hard to match up to the crown prince, you know?”

A memory of an old nightmare flashed in Takumi’s mind. He did know, and knew very well, in fact. He’d grown up in Ryoma’s shadow, who in turn had their father’s back to follow. It was why Takumi had chosen the way of the bow instead. Takumi shook his head, not really wanting to go down that road of thought. “Round two?”

If Leo realized the deflection, he certainly didn’t show it. Instead, he raised his sword again. “Ready when you are.”

Takumi readied himself and was about to strike, but Leo attacked first this time. Takumi found himself dwelling on the short conversation that just passed between them, and consciously made an effort to hold himself back a little and give Leo more opportunities to attack. Leo must have been affected by Takumi’s observation as well, because he took those opportunities. There was more back and forth this round, and finally Leo managed to break through Takumi’s admittedly weaker defense and land a hit on Takumi’s shoulder.

“Were you going easy on me for some reason?” Leo asked.

It wasn’t a malicious tone, and Takumi felt embarrassed at Leo’s concern. “Actually, I was trying to work on my defense, but it’s not so good.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean my remark earlier as a criticism. I think your sword style is admirable,” Leo said with a straight face.

_That_ was beyond embarrassing! Takumi felt like burning up, and not just because of the outside heat. “Thanks,” he choked out. “But I should work on my defense regardless.”

Leo nodded. “I understand. I can give you some pointers, if you’d like.”

“Sure,” Takumi agreed. Wasn’t this getting to be like another shogi-chess situation? Takumi had tried to dodge that, and here he was agreeing to spend more time with the other prince. “And I can teach you in turn, as well.”

Before they could start round three, however, Hinoka rode up on her pegasus. “Hey Takumi, Prince Leo. Just letting you know there’s a storm coming over the horizon.” She smiled at Takumi, adding, “You seem to be getting along.”

Takumi ignored the last comment. “Thanks, Sister.”

Hinoka exchanged brief words with Leo and then was flying away, presumably to return her pegasus to the stables. She’d already dismissed the rest of the knights while the princes were otherwise busy.

“Do you want to try another round or stop here for today?” Leo asked. As he did so, Takumi spotted the approaching storm clouds. Leo followed Takumi’s gaze.

“That storm looks like it’s moving quickly,” Takumi said. They both started moving toward the sword rack, having come to the same conclusion. “Same time next week?”

At Takumi’s next check up, Sakura sported a large black ribbon bow on the back of her head. “Look, Brother!” she said excitedly when she spotted Takumi entering the clinic. “Prince Leo gave me this clip as a birthday present. He said his little sister sent it from Nohr.”

“It’s cute,” Takumi said, to which Sakura lit up even more. Takumi didn’t know much about fabrics, but the ribbon appeared to be satin. It was exceptionally bouncy and had a white embroidered trim. Sakura didn’t wear black often but the bow fit her well.

“Princess Elise also sent me a letter,” Sakura continued. “She seems really nice! Prince Leo said I could write her a reply to send back with his other letters next time.”

Leo had never mentioned his siblings’ names, so Takumi surmised Elise was the younger sister. If he recalled correctly, Princess Elise was about Sakura’s age. “He writes letters to Nohr often?” Takumi asked.

“Oh yes, every other week. I think that’s nice.” Sakura thought for a moment. “I wonder if I should send something back to Princess Elise.”

“How’s it going, my lord?” Orochi interrupted, swinging into the room. She glanced briefly at the notes Sakura wrote.

Takumi made a face. “Everything feels sore,” he complained. “My back especially.”

“Your body’s going through a lot. Plus, it’s a good thing that you’re keeping up with your training, but you have to remember that your limits are different now.” Orochi scribbled on the record.

“Do want to go over stretching exercises together later?” Sakura piped up.

Orochi patted her on the head. “That’s a great idea. I already know your brother’s a blockhead who’s too impatient to stretch properly.” She ignored Takumi’s indignant noise. “What’s this bow? It’s adorable.”

“I got it from Prince Leo,” Sakura said, excited again. She explained the bow’s origin again to Orochi.

“Let’s go to the market later to pick out a return gift, I think that’s a good idea,” Takumi supplied in answer to Sakura’s earlier question.

So Orochi asked Takumi a few more questions, and then sent the siblings on their way. Sakura led the way to an empty dance room, where she went over a set of exercises with Takumi and told him, in no uncertain terms, that he better do them every day on his own whether he liked it or not. Then, exercises done, Sakura called on Hana and the trio headed out of the palace.

The walk to the market was quiet, save for Hana’s avid retelling of the latest war play she’d seen with Setsuna, complete with sword action and sound effects. Sakura walked and listened, while Takumi walked and only sort of listened. He had other thoughts on his mind, mostly involving what he wanted to talk to Sakura about.

They reached the market without incident. Sakura dismissed Hana, who headed off to the weapons shop with the promise she would find the siblings later. Takumi and Sakura took their time browsing the accessory shops.

“So, how do you feel about Prince Leo?” Sakura asked, examining a stand of jeweled hairpins and beating Takumi to the topic at hand.

“I don’t know,” Takumi answered truthfully. “It’s been sort of weird. Sometimes he says things that…” Takumi shook his head as if to clear that sentence. “We seem to have a lot more in common than I would have originally thought.”

Sakura’s brow creased in thought. “Isn’t that a good thing? They say shared experiences bring people together. What do you think of this?” Sakura picked out a very elaborate hairpin, with jeweled butterflies and knotted flowers.

“Too heavy. Besides, Princess Elise might not know how to wear these kinds of pins,” Takumi said. Sakura nodded in agreement, setting the pin back and moving on to the next thing the shop had to offer. Takumi followed along. “I’m not sure ‘shared experiences’ is the best way to describe it. It’s more like sometimes he’ll say something and it just… hits too close to home.”

Sakura glanced at Takumi curiously. “But is that necessarily a bad thing?” She had a brooch in hand, which she held up to her chest and then put back with a sigh.

“I don’t know,” Takumi said again, “but it’s not bad spending time with him.”

“That’s good. You know, Brother, I worry a lot for you. I know you can be a bit proud. So it’s nice to see you make friends.”

Takumi rolled his eyes but smiled anyway, ruffling Sakura’s hair gently so as not to disturb the bow. “Don’t be so cheeky. Worrying is an older brother’s job.”

Sakura laughed at that. She seemed satisfied with the conversation, heading to the next store, and finally picked out a drawstring purse embroidered with plum blossoms with much deliberation. Present chosen, Takumi and Sakura bought a few sticks of dango from a snack cart and sat to wait for Hana.

“I think I wouldn’t mind marrying Leo,” Takumi said, finally voicing what had been on his mind.

“How are you?” Ryoma asked on a visit to Takumi’s room after dinner one evening. “Prince Leo has been asking about you again. I’ve spoken with Orochi, and she said maybe another month or so, and we’ll tell him you’re on the way home from the Wind Tribe.”

“Yeah, probably,” Takumi shrugged. The lady of the moon hadn’t visited him this past month, and Orochi had recommended that they wait until his cycle was regular. “Should I pay a visit to the Wind Tribe for real if that’s the story?”

“That’s up to you, though I don’t think it necessary. It’s a bit far, after all.” Having said his piece, Ryoma didn’t move from the doorway, and instead studied Takumi with an impassive eye.

“What is it?”

Ryoma shook his head and half turned away. “It’s nothing. I was just thinking of how it seems you’ve grown so fast from a tiny tot. Hinoka and Sakura, too.”

Takumi scoffed. “Not like you to get all sentimental, Brother.”

“How could I not?” Ryoma mused. “Watching my siblings grow up is my joy as the oldest. Though it’s a shame…”

_A shame that Kamui isn’t here as well_ , Takumi finished in his mind. He knew Ryoma meant nothing of it, but an old feeling gripped him. If Kamui hadn’t been taken away, then Takumi would be the third prince, and what value did a prince that far down the line have? He pushed that thought away, instead asking, “Has there been word from Nohr about the delay?”

There was a pause as Ryoma considered the topic change. “Not really. The latest correspondence I received from the crown prince said roughly that Nohr is content with waiting as long as they must. Though it also seemed to me that there is something happening in the country, so perhaps the royal family is preoccupied with that.”

“‘Something’?” Takumi asked. He hadn’t heard any news about Nohr.

“I am not sure what it is. Border skirmishes have decreased the last few months, but a lot of Nohrians have been crossing the border into Hoshido as well.” Ryoma made a pensive face, then shrugged. “It is nothing we can’t handle, but it _is_ odd. I’ll bid you goodnight, then, Takumi.”

With that, Ryoma finally left Takumi’s room, sliding the door closed behind him. Takumi went to sleep wondering what was going on in their neighbor country.

Takumi dreamed that night of a Nohrian army marching through Hoshido, carving its way to the capital. He and his siblings watched the forces approaching from atop a nearby hill. Leading the army was someone faceless but oddly familiar, and Takumi felt himself be consumed by anger and hatred and jealousy until all that was left was the lingering terror he awoke with.

It was not yet dawn. The details of the dream were already receding from Takumi’s mind, so he allowed himself to doze until sunlight peeked into the room. Takumi did his morning stretches and practiced meditating as Kagero recently suggested to him. When the time was appropriate, Takumi took the shogi board he’d set out the night before to the library to meet Leo as agreed.

“Good morning,” Leo said amiably.

Takumi returned the greeting, noticing Leo’s rude retainer relaxing on a bench several meters away. Resolving to ignore the man, Takumi set up the shogi board with Leo in relative silence.

“I heard from my brother that there might be something happening in Nohr,” Takumi said, making his move. He was still curious about what Ryoma had said. “Do you know about it?”

Leo seemed taken aback at the sudden question. “There’s always something happening in Nohr,” he answered easily enough. “It seems my father, the King, hasn’t been well. So things are a bit… restless, you could say.”

Takumi nodded sympathetically. “I see, that’s unfortunate. Are your siblings alright?”

Again, Leo seemed taken aback. He paused in order to promote a pawn. “Yes, they’re fine. Elise tells me that our father is bringing Corrin into the main castle soon, so that will be new.”

“...Corrin?”

“Oh– my other brother,” Leo clarified. “He’s been isolated outside the capital up until now. Though, I can’t help but wonder about the timing of this change.”

_It wasn’t Kamui?_ Takumi wondered. But he asked, “What do you mean?”

Leo frowned, though that might have been because he realized he made a mistake on the board. “It’s probably just a coincidence, though… It seems too convenient to finally bring the second prince in after giving the third prince away.”

That left Takumi reeling inside. He remembered the last time he talked to Sakura about Leo, and how the other prince was in a way too similar. He opened his mouth to say something (what?) but Leo waved a hand dismissively.

“Sorry to drop this on you,” Leo said. “I just feel like you and I are somewhat in the same boat, so you’d understand.”

“Yeah,” Takumi agreed, not really knowing what else to say. “It’s probably just a coincidence, like you said.”

Leo nodded distantly. They finished the game and two more, chatting idly about happenings around the palace.

As Leo excused himself and left Takumi to pick up the board, Niles approached, surprising Takumi who’d forgotten about the retainer.

“It’s a good game you’ve got going on, but my lord is a bit delicate so don’t play with him too much,” was all Niles said before following Leo, and left Takumi to wonder what the hell the man was talking about.

A month passed, then another. Takumi spent his time as usual, meeting with Leo at least twice a week for shogi or swordplay or whatever else came up. Takumi found himself looking forward to meeting with the other prince. It was nice spending time with someone who was his age and an equal, not like hanging out with Sakura or his retainers. Sakura was right about the shared experiences; Takumi felt it made Leo easier to talk to. So when he told Ryoma that “Tsuru” was ready to be married, he meant it.

“Are you going to tell Prince Leo?” Ryoma asked.

“Not yet,” Takumi said. “We’ll do the ‘homecoming’, and then I’ll tell him.”

The next thing Takumi had on his agenda involved finding Oboro, which was easy enough, but it was the next part that would be difficult. Still, Takumi had made up his mind.

“Oboro, there’s a favor I’d like you to do for me,” Takumi began.

Oboro nodded. “Of course, milord, whatever you want.”

Takumi took a deep breath. “I’d like you to make a kakeshita. Can you?”

“A wedding kimono?” Oboro said, attitude still relaxed. “Sure I can. Who’s getting married?”

“Me.”

There was a long silence as Oboro stared. “ _You_ , milord? A _kakeshita_? Who are you marrying and since when?”

Here came the hardest part. “Prince Leo,” Takumi said, bracing himself for the storm. “It’s been that way ever since he came here.”

As soon as Oboro heard “Leo”, her face contorted into the grimace she made any time anyone mentioned Nohr. As expected, she was angry. “The _Nohrian?_ Why didn’t you say anything? Are you being forced by your family?” she demanded.

“Don’t talk about my family like that,” Takumi scolded, and Oboro’s expression softened just a bit in apology. “No, it’s a decision I made on my own. No one really knows outside of my family.”

“But why, milord?” Takumi sighed. “At first I was doing it for Sakura. But over the months that Leo has been here, I’ve gotten to know him as a person, and now I’m doing it because I want to. So, I’m actually glad that things turned out the way they did about the whole alliance marriage thing with Nohr. Will you still make me the kimono?”

Oboro deflated until all she really looked was glum. “How can I say no? Even if you’re marrying a _Nohrian_ , you’re still my lord.”

“Thanks, Oboro.” Takumi patted her shoulder. “Sorry about keeping it a secret. There were circumstances, you know?”

“S’fine,” Oboro said, wiping her face. A mischievous twinkle appeared in her eye. “I’ll have to take measurements. Oh, if you’re going to be wearing a bride’s kimono, then I’ve got some other clothes for you to try on. You can’t escape this time!”

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if the break is odd, this fic wasn't meant to be posted in two parts but the second part hasn't been written yet so...
> 
> if you liked this so far you can find me @russiazilla on twitter !


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